A Day in My Life

I was looking through some posts I had made on my other blog and found one that I felt needed to be shared.  It's a pretty typical day in my life.  :)  Also, we no longer live in the house with the freakish toilet.

This happened in 2008, but it's still funny (and still totally what my life is really like.  I swear, I couldn't make this shit up).

A day in my life (slightly edited from its original form--names have been removed or changed)

The day started out normally with me needing to use the toilet the instant my eyes were open, so I did. When I flushed, the toilet backed up and I had to plunge. (this happens probably four times a week with this toilet. It will back up with just one square of t.p. in it, too. I am not joking.) As I was plunging, the plunger managed to suck up a wad of toilet paper and as the paper squished back out of the plunger, the plunger made some weird sucking noise and doused my legs and t-shirt with disgusting toilet water resulting in my having to shower immediately and clean the bathroom floor. Grrrr...

Fast forward...

I am making vegetable soup (and it smells GOOD!) but while I was preparing the broth, I had adventures. I was opening a can of garlic-herb broth to add to the pot, and when I popped the top open, the broth exploded all over my shirt (not the toilet-water shirt, a different one). The second can exploded all over my arms. So, now, I smell like very strong garlic... this is not necessarily a bad thing, but since I had just gotten out of the shower moments before I did this, I was slightly frustrated.

Second (third? Do the two cans of garlic broth count as one event or as two?) thing to happen was I was holding my can opener (that I had just used to open the broth) in my hand and my cat decided he needed to investigate the can opener. He hopped up onto his back legs, put one of his front paws on my buttock and the other he used to bat at the opener. This was great fun for a few seconds, then he tired of the game and wanted to be back on all fours. Well, his claw had become caught in my pants, and he could not get back to the floor as he was stuck. In my pants. He is yowling and scratching my butt in his efforts to get away, and he somehow managed to pull my trousers down in his efforts to get free. So, I had to have my son come and rescue the cat and me as I was standing there covered in garlic broth.

There is more to the original post, but it's about our dog turning into Houndini and performing amazing feats of harness escape and the feeble attempts at catching him, but is not quite as funny as this bit.

So with this post and the story of me locking myself out of the house and having to break in through the kitchen window, you should be getting a pretty good idea that my life is better than a soap-opera and is rarely boring!